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Short Fiction: At the Barber’s

Short Fiction
At the Barber’s
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Notes

table of contents
  1. Title Page
  2. Imprint
  3. A Living Chattel
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
  4. Joy
  5. At the Barber’s
  6. An Enigmatic Nature
  7. A Classical Student
  8. The Death of a Government Clerk
  9. A Daughter of Albion
  10. The Trousseau
  11. An Inquiry
  12. Fat and Thin
  13. A Tragic Actor
  14. A Slander
  15. The Bird Market
  16. Choristers
  17. The Album
  18. Minds in Ferment
  19. A Chameleon
  20. In the Graveyard
  21. Oysters
  22. The Swedish Match
    1. I
    2. II
  23. The Marshal’s Widow
  24. Small Fry
  25. In an Hotel
  26. Boots
  27. Nerves
  28. A Country Cottage
  29. Malingerers
  30. The Fish
  31. Gone Astray
  32. The Huntsman
  33. A Malefactor
  34. A Dead Body
  35. The Cook’s Wedding
  36. In a Strange Land
  37. Overdoing It
  38. Old Age
  39. Sorrow
  40. Oh! The Public
  41. Mari d’Elle
  42. The Looking-Glass
  43. Art
  44. A Blunder
  45. Children
  46. Misery
  47. An Actor’s End
  48. The Requiem
  49. Anyuta
  50. Ivan Matveyitch
  51. The Witch
  52. A Story Without an End
  53. A Joke
  54. Agafya
  55. A Nightmare
  56. Grisha
  57. Love
  58. Easter Eve
  59. Ladies
  60. Strong Impressions
  61. A Gentleman Friend
  62. A Happy Man
  63. The Privy Councillor
  64. A Day in the Country
  65. At a Summer Villa
  66. Panic Fears
  67. The Chemist’s Wife
  68. Not Wanted
  69. The Chorus Girl
  70. The Schoolmaster
  71. A Troublesome Visitor
  72. A Misfortune
  73. A Pink Stocking
  74. Martyrs
  75. The First-Class Passenger
  76. Talent
  77. The Dependents
  78. The Jeune Premier
  79. In the Dark
  80. A Trivial Incident
  81. A Tripping Tongue
  82. A Trifle from Life
  83. Difficult People
  84. In the Court
  85. A Peculiar Man
  86. Mire
    1. I
    2. II
  87. Dreams
  88. Hush!
  89. Excellent People
  90. An Incident
  91. The Orator
  92. A Work of Art
  93. Who Was to Blame?
  94. On the Road
  95. Vanka
  96. Champagne
  97. Frost
  98. The Beggar
  99. Enemies
  100. Darkness
  101. Polinka
  102. Drunk
  103. An Inadvertence
  104. Verotchka
  105. Shrove Tuesday
  106. A Defenceless Creature
  107. A Bad Business
  108. Home
  109. The Lottery Ticket
  110. Too Early!
  111. Typhus
  112. In Passion Week
  113. A Mystery
  114. The Cossack
  115. The Letter
  116. An Adventure
  117. The Examining Magistrate
  118. Aborigines
  119. Happiness
  120. Bad Weather
  121. A Play
  122. A Transgression
  123. From the Diary of a Violent-Tempered Man
  124. Uprooted
  125. A Father
  126. A Happy Ending
  127. In the Coach-House
  128. Zinotchka
  129. The Doctor
  130. The Pipe
  131. An Avenger
  132. The Post
  133. The Runaway
  134. A Problem
  135. The Old House
  136. The Cattle-Dealers
  137. Expensive Lessons
  138. The Lion and the Sun
  139. In Trouble
  140. The Kiss
  141. Boys
  142. Kashtanka
    1. I: Misbehaviour
    2. II: A Mysterious Stranger
    3. III: New and Very Agreeable Acquaintances
    4. IV: Marvels on a Hurdle
    5. V: Talent! Talent!
    6. VI: An Uneasy Night
    7. VII: An Unsuccessful Debut
  143. A Lady’s Story
  144. A Story Without a Title
  145. Sleepy
  146. The Steppe
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  147. Lights
  148. The Beauties
    1. I
    2. II
  149. The Party
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
  150. The Shoemaker and the Devil
  151. The Bet
    1. I
    2. II
  152. The Princess
  153. A Dreary Story
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
  154. The Teacher of Literature
    1. I
    2. II
  155. A Nervous Breakdown
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
  156. The Horse-Stealers
  157. Gusev
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
  158. Peasant Wives
  159. The Wife
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
  160. The Grasshopper
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  161. After the Theatre
  162. In Exile
  163. Terror
  164. Neighbours
  165. Ward No. 6
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
    9. IX
    10. X
    11. XI
    12. XII
    13. XIII
    14. XIV
    15. XV
    16. XVI
    17. XVII
    18. XVIII
    19. XIX
  166. The Two Volodyas
  167. Rothschild’s Fiddle
  168. The Student
  169. At a Country House
  170. The Head-Gardener’s Story
  171. A Woman’s Kingdom
    1. I: Christmas Eve
    2. II: Christmas Morning
    3. III: Dinner
    4. IV: Evening
  172. Anna on the Neck
    1. I
    2. II
  173. Whitebrow
  174. Ariadne
  175. The Helpmate
  176. The Murder
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
  177. Three Years
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
    9. IX
    10. X
    11. XI
    12. XII
    13. XIII
    14. XIV
    15. XV
    16. XVI
    17. XVII
  178. An Artist’s Story
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
  179. My Life
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
    9. IX
    10. X
    11. XI
    12. XII
    13. XIII
    14. XIV
    15. XV
    16. XVI
    17. XVII
    18. XVIII
    19. XIX
    20. XX
  180. Peasants
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
    9. IX
  181. The Petchenyeg
  182. At Home
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
  183. The Schoolmistress
  184. The Man in a Case
  185. Gooseberries
  186. About Love
  187. The Darling
  188. The New Villa
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
  189. On Official Duty
  190. The Lady with the Dog
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
  191. At Christmas Time
    1. I
    2. II
  192. In the Ravine
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
    9. IX
  193. The Bishop
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
  194. Betrothed
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
  195. Endnotes
  196. Colophon
  197. Uncopyright

At the Barber’s

Morning. It is not yet seven o’clock, but Makar Kuzmitch Blyostken’s shop is already open. The barber himself, an unwashed, greasy, but foppishly dressed youth of three and twenty, is busy clearing up; there is really nothing to be cleared away, but he is perspiring with his exertions. In one place he polishes with a rag, in another he scrapes with his finger or catches a bug and brushes it off the wall.

The barber’s shop is small, narrow, and unclean. The log walls are hung with paper suggestive of a cabman’s faded shirt. Between the two dingy, perspiring windows there is a thin, creaking, rickety door, above it, green from the damp, a bell which trembles and gives a sickly ring of itself without provocation. Glance into the looking-glass which hangs on one of the walls, and it distorts your countenance in all directions in the most merciless way! The shaving and haircutting is done before this looking-glass. On the little table, as greasy and unwashed as Makar Kuzmitch himself, there is everything: combs, scissors, razors, a ha’porth of wax for the moustache, a ha’porth of powder, a ha’porth of much watered eau de Cologne, and indeed the whole barber’s shop is not worth more than fifteen kopecks.

There is a squeaking sound from the invalid bell and an elderly man in a tanned sheepskin and high felt over-boots walks into the shop. His head and neck are wrapped in a woman’s shawl.

This is Erast Ivanitch Yagodov, Makar Kuzmitch’s godfather. At one time he served as a watchman in the Consistory, now he lives near the Red Pond and works as a locksmith.

“Makarushka, good day, dear boy!” he says to Makar Kuzmitch, who is absorbed in tidying up.

They kiss each other. Yagodov drags his shawl off his head, crosses himself, and sits down.

“What a long way it is!” he says, sighing and clearing his throat. “It’s no joke! From the Red Pond to the Kaluga gate.”

“How are you?”

“In a poor way, my boy. I’ve had a fever.”

“You don’t say so! Fever!”

“Yes, I have been in bed a month; I thought I should die. I had extreme unction. Now my hair’s coming out. The doctor says I must be shaved. He says the hair will grow again strong. And so, I thought, I’ll go to Makar. Better to a relation than to anyone else. He will do it better and he won’t take anything for it. It’s rather far, that’s true, but what of it? It’s a walk.”

“I’ll do it with pleasure. Please sit down.”

With a scrape of his foot Makar Kuzmitch indicates a chair. Yagodov sits down and looks at himself in the glass and is apparently pleased with his reflection: the looking-glass displays a face awry, with Kalmuck lips, a broad, blunt nose, and eyes in the forehead. Makar Kuzmitch puts round his client’s shoulders a white sheet with yellow spots on it, and begins snipping with the scissors.

“I’ll shave you clean to the skin!” he says.

“To be sure. So that I may look like a Tartar, like a bomb. The hair will grow all the thicker.”

“How’s auntie?”

“Pretty middling. The other day she went as midwife to the major’s lady. They gave her a rouble.”

“Oh, indeed, a rouble. Hold your ear.”

“I am holding it. … Mind you don’t cut me. Oy, you hurt! You are pulling my hair.”

“That doesn’t matter. We can’t help that in our work. And how is Anna Erastovna?”

“My daughter? She is all right, she’s skipping about. Last week on the Wednesday we betrothed her to Sheikin. Why didn’t you come?”

The scissors cease snipping. Makar Kuzmitch drops his hands and asks in a fright:

“Who is betrothed?”

“Anna.”

“How’s that? To whom?”

“To Sheikin. Prokofy Petrovitch. His aunt’s a housekeeper in Zlatoustensky Lane. She is a nice woman. Naturally we are all delighted, thank God. The wedding will be in a week. Mind you come; we will have a good time.”

“But how’s this, Erast Ivanitch?” says Makar Kuzmitch, pale, astonished, and shrugging his shoulders. “It’s … it’s utterly impossible. Why, Anna Erastovna … why I … why, I cherished sentiments for her, I had intentions. How could it happen?”

“Why, we just went and betrothed her. He’s a good fellow.”

Cold drops of perspiration come on the face of Makar Kuzmitch. He puts the scissors down on the table and begins rubbing his nose with his fist.

“I had intentions,” he says. “It’s impossible, Erast Ivanitch. I … I am in love with her and have made her the offer of my heart. … And auntie promised. I have always respected you as though you were my father. … I always cut your hair for nothing. … I have always obliged you, and when my papa died you took the sofa and ten roubles in cash and have never given them back. Do you remember?”

“Remember! of course I do. Only, what sort of a match would you be, Makar? You are nothing of a match. You’ve neither money nor position, your trade’s a paltry one.”

“And is Sheikin rich?”

“Sheikin is a member of a union. He has a thousand and a half lent on mortgage. So my boy. … It’s no good talking about it, the thing’s done. There is no altering it, Makarushka. You must look out for another bride. … The world is not so small. Come, cut away. Why are you stopping?”

Makar Kuzmitch is silent and remains motionless, then he takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and begins to cry.

“Come, what is it?” Erast Ivanitch comforts him. “Give over. Fie, he is blubbering like a woman! You finish my head and then cry. Take up the scissors!”

Makar Kuzmitch takes up the scissors, stares vacantly at them for a minute, then drops them again on the table. His hands are shaking.

“I can’t,” he says. “I can’t do it just now. I haven’t the strength! I am a miserable man! And she is miserable! We loved each other, we had given each other our promise and we have been separated by unkind people without any pity. Go away, Erast Ivanitch! I can’t bear the sight of you.”

“So I’ll come tomorrow, Makarushka. You will finish me tomorrow.”

“Right.”

“You calm yourself and I will come to you early in the morning.”

Erast Ivanitch has half his head shaven to the skin and looks like a convict. It is awkward to be left with a head like that, but there is no help for it. He wraps his head in the shawl and walks out of the barber’s shop. Left alone, Makar Kuzmitch sits down and goes on quietly weeping.

Early next morning Erast Ivanitch comes again.

“What do you want?” Makar Kuzmitch asks him coldly.

“Finish cutting my hair, Makarushka. There is half the head left to do.”

“Kindly give me the money in advance. I won’t cut it for nothing.”

Without saying a word Erast Ivanitch goes out, and to this day his hair is long on one side of the head and short on the other. He regards it as extravagance to pay for having his hair cut and is waiting for the hair to grow of itself on the shaven side.

He danced at the wedding in that condition.

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